[Discussion] Sample – Retirement funds

Some people believe that governments should support retired people while others believe that they should save money when they get older. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Chính phủ nên giúp:

Có thể giúp hỗ trợ tiền nhà, hay đảm bảo tiền thuê nhà rẻ

Hỗ trợ về y tế – người già nên được chăm sóc miễn phí 

Họ đã đóng thuế cả đời – nên điều này công bằng 

Có nhiều người già không có gia đình nên phải nhờ chính phủ giúp

Government support:

Can support housing fees – by helping to pay rent, ensure affordable housing

Healthcare – older people get free healthcare 

They paid taxes their whole working life – so the government should take care of them

Many old people don’t have family – so they can only rely on governmental support 

Nên tiết kiệm:

Cho trường hợp khẩn cấp – như một phần chi tiêu y tế

Cho cuộc sống – sẽ nhanh hơn là đợi chính phủ giúp

Có thêm sự tự do, có thể đi du lịch 

Có thể để lại tiền cho con cái 

Personal savings
For emergencies – medical expenditure (part of it)

For living expenses – faster than applying for foods stamps and coupons – also lots of restrictions

More freedom – can spend their money to go overseas, experience life

To leave something for their children or grandchildren after they’re gone

People’s view differ whether retirees should be supported by the government. While I think that the government should pay for part of major expenditure such as healthcare or housing, retired people should also contribute to their living expenses through personal savings.  

When it comes to supporting the retired community, it is undeniable that the government should play an active role. For starters, medical care should be subsidized partly, if not fully by the authority, as they amount to one of the highest spendings for an aged person. It is no surprise that many develop health complications in their later years, which means visits to the doctors would be more frequent. But perhaps more worrying is the fact that a large part of society nowadays are no longer homeowners. Without a steady stream of income, retirees would find it hard to pay their rent, thus heightening the risk of eviction and homelessness when there is a lack of governmental support. 

The argument that a retirement fund should be personally accumulated throughout one’s working years is also valid. To begin with, most governments around the world only provide partial medical funding for their citizens, so having some money put aside is quintessential for the elderly. In Vietnam, only citizens in their 70s are eligible to receive free medical care, meaning the majority of the retired community still have to by out of their won pocket for a few years after retiring. Another point worth mentioning is that these people still require the basics, including food and clothing. Saved funds would definitely ensure that these needs are taken care of swiftly, instead of waiting in line for food stamps and shopping coupons sparsely distributed from their government. 

All in all, while governments should provide aid for larger expenses in medical care and accommodation, I believe that those who are retired should also put some effort into their lives by putting aside some money for their later years. 

325 words – Band 8.0

Synonyms: 

Retired people – the retired, retiree, the retired community, people who are retired, pensioner

Expenses – expenditure, spendings, (living) cost 

• Retirees (n) /rɪˌtaɪˈriz/:
  • Vietnamese definition: Người nghỉ hưu
  • Example sentence: “Retirees often enjoy pursuing hobbies and traveling.”
  • Vietnamese translation: “Người nghỉ hưu thường thích theo đuổi sở thích và du lịch.”
• Expenditure (n) /ɪkˈspɛndɪtʃər/:
  • Vietnamese definition: Sự chi tiêu, khoản chi
  • Example sentence: “Tracking your monthly expenditure is important for budgeting.”
  • Vietnamese translation: “Theo dõi khoản chi tiêu hàng tháng quan trọng để lập kế hoạch ngân sách.”
• Subsidized (adj) /ˈsʌbsɪˌdaɪzd/:
  • Vietnamese definition: Được hỗ trợ tài chính, được bảo trợ
  • Example sentence: “Some low-income families qualify for subsidized housing.”
  • Vietnamese translation: “Một số gia đình có thu nhập thấp đủ điều kiện để nhận nhà ở được bảo trợ.”
• Health complications (n phrase) /hɛlθ ˌkɒmplɪˈkeɪʃənz/:
  • Vietnamese definition: Vấn đề sức khỏe phức tạp
  • Example sentence: “Certain medical conditions can lead to health complications.”
  • Vietnamese translation: “Một số điều kiện y tế cụ thể có thể dẫn đến vấn đề sức khỏe phức tạp.”
• Homeowners (n) /ˈhoʊmˌoʊnərz/:
  • Vietnamese definition: Chủ nhà
  • Example sentence: “Homeowners are responsible for maintaining their properties.”
  • Vietnamese translation: “Chủ nhà có trách nhiệm duy trì tài sản của họ.”
• Eviction (n) /ɪˈvɪkʃən/:
  • Vietnamese definition: Sự trục xuất, đuổi ra khỏi nhà
  • Example sentence: “Eviction is the legal process of removing a tenant from a property.”
  • Vietnamese translation: “Sự trục xuất là quá trình pháp lý để loại bỏ một người thuê nhà khỏi một bất động sản.”
• Accumulated (adj) /əˈkjuːmjəˌleɪtɪd/:
  • Vietnamese definition: Tích luỹ, tích tụ
  • Example sentence: “Over the years, she accumulated a vast collection of rare books.”
  • Vietnamese translation: “Qua nhiều năm, cô tích luỹ một bộ sưu tập lớn các cuốn sách hiếm.”
• Quintessential (adj) /kwɪnˈtɛsənʃəl/:
  • Vietnamese definition: Điển hình, tinh túy
  • Example sentence: “The historic building is considered the quintessential example of colonial architecture.”
  • Vietnamese translation: “Tòa nhà lịch sử được coi là ví dụ điển hình của kiến trúc thuộc địa.”
• Eligible (adj) /ˈɛlɪdʒəbl/:
  • Vietnamese definition: Đủ điều kiện, đủ tư cách
  • Example sentence: “To be eligible for the scholarship, students must meet specific criteria.”
  • Vietnamese translation: “Để đủ điều kiện nhận học bổng, sinh viên phải đáp ứng các tiêu chí cụ thể.”
• Swiftly (adv) /ˈswɪftli/:
  • Vietnamese definition: Nhanh chóng, mau lẹ
  • Example sentence: “The company responded swiftly to the customer’s complaint.”
  • Vietnamese translation: “Công ty phản hồi nhanh chóng đối với phàn nàn của khách hàng.”

One way to explain this is 

It is no surprise that 

All of which are the factors which can lead to 

“uses cohesion in such a way that it attracts no attention”

So how do you connect your ideas (cohesion) without attracting too much attention? I think there are 2 possible ways:

1. Explain your ideas in a logical order so that you don’t need many linking words. This is probably what you do when writing in your own language.
2. Use easy linking and referencing words like and, but, because, which, that, this, while, for example. These are so common that they attract almost no attention.